While at the beach you decide to write a message in a bottle. What would it say? Who would you like to find it?
Why am I alone on this beach? That’s what need to be discussed first. Before anything else can be considered, and I can reach out via glass bottle transmission, I need to figure that out: why am I alone on this beach?
Immediately, my subconscious assumes “weather-related-plane-crash”. That’s understandable and it doesn’t make me dumb for thinking it. But it isn’t the only possibility. It’s not. And with each potential possibility—as to how I arrived alone on this island—there are just as many different types of messages, with different tones and emotions. There are a myriad of arriving scenarios and I could be putting a lot of different shit in this glass bottle. Let’s think:
Am I married and am I wealthy? That should be considered first. If I am, and I like to think I will be when this tragedy occurs, I’ve got to come to grips with the painful reality my skank of wife set me up. She wants the money; you’ve seen the movie; you know how it works. She is probably on a beach, by her own accord, after a few days of a staged mourning, with my millions, choking on her yoga instructor’s downward-dog. So, if that’s the scenario, I’m getting nasty with my letter. I’m throwing out dignity and self-respect and any legitimate chance at rescue or survival and I’m taking her down with me. I’m making a list of every slam piece I had during our marriage, in bullet form; asterisk by the names of the females who looked better naked than she did. I’d also draw a crude stick figure picture, both figures labeled, depicting me and her sister doing a standing 69. That never happened but I would want that thought to linger and corrupt her health for the rest of her life.
That’s what that letter, for that scenario, would say. Obviously, I hope my wife is the one to find it.
I’m out of room, with only three lines left. Shit. This is the first prompt in this book and it’s my first time doing it. I’ll have to plan better going forward with future prompts.