Gofundme: For my Poor Minor League Baseball Playing Friend

(Below is a gofundme plea I wrote for a friend who made the mistake of joking with me. After a long day of spring training, he texted me, venting about minor league pay, and joked that I should write a gofundme for him. He was joking. I wasn’t. I had about seven beers and wrote the Gofundme below.)


Gofundme: Help My Friend Jared (Jarry), the Poor Minor League Baseball Player


Getting to the Major leagues is hard. Most people know that.

It’s hard because baseball is hard. The game in itself is enough to make most players quit before they want to. But what can be even more difficult, which most people never realize, is the financial stress.

Minor league baseball players–most of them–who train/play year round, make very little money. My good friend, Jared Foster, is currently one of those minor league players…

Get into a mind frame for me.

Close your eyes.

Think cold. Think destitute.

Picture a place where the scene is grim and the color is grey. Imagine someone living in that. Imagine their feelings of despair and despondency. Feel what it is like to be strangled by the poverty of that reality. Really grasp it. Imagine fighting it. Think Tiny Tim, from Charles Dickens novel, “Scrooge.” See him, helpless, yet determined, fighting for scraps of bread and mutton. Think about London, the city, in that same novel, and what the unbalanced municipal structure does to little Tim.

Are you picturing all that?

Jared Foster is Tiny Tim and Minor League Baseball is London.

Jared Foster is living in my guest bedroom this past off-season. My house is spacious and lavish because I drive Uber. There is plenty of room. Jared is also a close friend.

After a fine season with the Los Angeles Angels, finishing in High-A, he returned to Louisiana for the fall and winter months. He would be living at my place until February. I was excited to have a pal to hang with. I was also excited because his girlfriend is gas.

Let me give you a more tangible, real world example. I’ll actually give you a few, to make a better appeal.

Examples when I realized he needed money:

  • Jared went grocery shopping the first day, after moving in. Contents include:
    • 8 bags of Ramen noodles
    • 1 handle of Vodka: Taaka
    • 1 box of cereal: “Value-Crisps”
    • Dishware and cutlery
      • 40 solo cups
      • 50 sporks (fork/spoon)
      • Plastic guzzler, lid and straw.
    • Two-for-one Winn Dixie steak/chicken packs.
    • Original Lays Chips.

Jared explained that professional baseball players don’t get paid during the off-season. I didn’t know that.

  • We go out to a bar in Baton Rouge, on a casual Wednesday night. It was early, and we weren’t in “Tigerland” (collection of college bars where drinks are sold in “buy-one-get-nine-free” fashion). Drinks were aggressively priced. Upon arrival I had to use the facilities (pee). Told Jared to get first round and grab me a beer. I went to the bathroom and came back. He was taking pictures with a group of three girls. One of the friends, after the last picture was taken, turned to bar and grabbed two beers. She handed them to Jared, who handed me one. She smiled, and said, “thank you. Here are the two beers you wanted for taking the pictures with us.”

Jared explained that professional baseball players don’t get paid during the off-season. I didn’t know that.

  • Jared asked me if I had any suggestions or recommendations for jobs he could work during the Off-season.


  • Jared’s girlfriends was in town visiting. She had just arrived and they immediately left for a nice dinner. After they left, I went into his room to grab his laptop, because it had a better quality picture and less viruses than mine. I entered his login password (IluvBogies) and opened his browser. His most recent site was still up: Groupon. In the middle of the page, adorned with a nice flashing border, was a half priced entrée/app deal, to TGIF. It had a green check mark in the middle of it–fine print that read “successfully activated”.

Jared explained that professional baseball players don’t get paid during the off-season. I had just found that out.

  • Jared went home to visit his family in Lake Charles one weekend. He came back that following Monday. He propped the back door open, by the carport, as he made multiple trips from his car to the kitchen. Items he brought in the house included:
    • 6 Tupperware (moderate sized) containers, dangerously full of chicken parm.
    • 4 bags of sandwich bread.
    • Trail mix.
    • 8 boxes of Uncle Ben’s Rice (Cajun and brown)
    • Mom’s VISA
    • Large ice chest:
      • 2 gallons of milk
      • Deli meat
      • 2 cubic feet of cheddar cheese
      • Rotisserie chicken (3)
      • Packaged deer meat
      • Tropicana (Pulp and without)
      • Military MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat [6])

I helped him place the contents in the kitchen. He had been home a few weeks and hadn’t been paid any money.

Jared is going to play in the Big Leagues, someday soon, and he will work tirelessly to get there. But, now, in the meantime, I think it would make things easier if he could focus more on baseball–less on finance–and didn’t have to color his girlfriend’s Christmas present this year.

Help my friend.

Give him money.



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