About Me (Beau)
Collection of thoughts, travels, advice, and stories. Read further if you need to know more. Thanks.
If you know me, or have read some of my recent stuff, tune this next part out.
But–and this is a big but–if this site, predicated upon my adventure and charm, takes off, and I’m social media famous like a Kardashian, let me tell you a little bit about myself:
I like to write.
I embody a pleasant disposition and I tend to gravitate towards situations of brevity and/or strip clubs.
I’m attractive; not stunningly attractive, or second-glance worthy, but I’m nice to look at.
Most things don’t bother me and what is new, what is foreign and unfamiliar, excite me the most. And/or strip clubs.
I love America and I love what this country stands for. I love, above all else, that it is a melting pot of diversity and a beautiful amalgamation of worldly culture. I want to experience those other cultures, delighting in what makes the world boundless. I like to use words like amalgamation.
Mindfulness, in gentle combination with a medley of other drugs and feelings, constitute how I observe and recognize things. Being aware and taking note of what is around me, especially the majestic, is what I love to do. I do this through writing. I can also make a lot of things that you wouldn’t expect majestic, like bowel movements and/or strip clubs.
I think I’m funny. Most people, minus some ex-girlfriends and most teachers, agree. Where political turmoil and contrasting beliefs incite conflict, I quench fire with a tasteful nip joke. Both in person and through keyboard, I imbue humor. I also imbue a lot of girls. Life is too fun and I’m too funny. I’m majestic.
I’ll be living in Southeast Asia for the next seven months (02/14/2017 date written). As I’m writing this I’m currently in Japan. I believe in myself, so I’m anticipating my reach to grow beyond Asia in months and years to come. If I find a dancer/bartender with an above average body and kind heart who wants to settle down, though, I might do that. I’m being honest and upfront with you. I’d shut it down for love.
You will also find written work of mine from recent past. Most of it is drunken stream of conscious. I hope this site serves as a portfolio of mine as well as a current literary progression of my life… Who cares.
Last note: I grew up in the State of Washington. My current address denotes Baton Rouge, Louisiana. I attended Louisiana State University on a baseball scholarship. I was awful. But, Louisiana is great, and my best friends live there. I’m a homeowner and I drive a luxury vehicle (camera when you back up and heated seats, driver and passenger side). That’s all you need to know.
To tie up this “Writing with Beau” About Me/Mission Statement, let me outline my intentions and goals.
Create a forum of written expression and adventure where words and pictures are honest and fun. Censorship is frowned upon and everyone/every experience is welcomed. Thoughts, observations, and expression for all.
I would also like for someone with money to realize I am talented and decide to pay me.
(Above is the thesis statement. It’s the substance, if you will. I put it in bold for those who are slow, dumb, or high. I’ve been called all of those. That’s ok. Bold letters helps, I’ve found.)
Brief description of all categories on menu bar:
Thoughts Abroad: World traveling is an amazing experience that has evaded me, until now. I want to absorb it, to take in the cultural niceties and experiences I cum across (see what I did there). I want to immerse myself in the experience, mindful of what I see, and grow as a person. Most importantly, though, is what I want to share.
I want to share my experiences, through thought and observation. I want them to be funny, and insightful, and equal parts offensive–that’s a good thing.
Travel, like most other things, should be fun. Hopefully you will think of my adventures as fun, and funny. I will be happy if my commentary serves as a respite from diatribes and duck-faced selfies. Sharing experiences, unless you’re a terrorist, is the best way to bring people together. Hopefully I can do that. I look forward to trying.
Millenials Playbook: “How-to” and advice/recommendation for the millennial. I’m smart and well-versed.
Sentimental: Typically stuff I write or have written to my mom when she is upset with me and needs some attention. May also include deep expression I want girls to see.
Gofundme: Series of attempts I’ve used to get other peoples money.
Short-Story/Shenanigans: Either short stories–probably true– or pieces I can’t determine what other category to put them.
Tributes: Attempts to honor great people or lament over ex-girlfriends.
Sports “Op-ed”: My opinion regarding sport(s).
Guest Posts: When a guest posts something.
***Please, contact me for pictures or content you want to post concerning your travels.
***Please, contact me if you’re attractive and lack self-respect.